you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
