i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like abortions should bother me more
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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