Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize