trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
