bring money and cleavage
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
