I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
