So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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