i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
