is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
