That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
