Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
