come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
