he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
