Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
