How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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