Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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