Christians are straight up FREAKS
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You pole danced in your parka.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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