So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize