i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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