he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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