I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
