When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize