i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
