I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
