Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize