At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
