do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
