Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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