he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
