I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
