doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
