i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
