apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
