You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
