Pregnant stripper...not hot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
