I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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