Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
