Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
