What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So vagazzling was a success
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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