They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
