Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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