Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
