this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
40s are totally the cure
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
