Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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