Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Sacagawea was the original milf.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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