if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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