She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
