In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
