The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
