If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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