Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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