So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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