that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
