i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
