Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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