He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
