If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
pray to the hookup gods
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
