I need help removing her.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
