p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
