Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
